So, it’s goodbye again to this secondary blog.

Yep. I've stepped up a bit and redesigned my webby from a simple blog to a personal website.

Once the changes has been made, I can now upload my new webpage and reconstruct my old blog posts. Yes, your guess is as good as mine…the drat ex-provider didn’t do any backups at all. Efff them to perdition.

While sorting the books into piles, I found an old folio containing the first  chapters of the very first romance story I ever submitted to a publishing house  (the now defunct VR). The manuscript was all yellowed from the passage of time. I cannot help but smile as I recalled writing the piece using an old manual typewriter. Well, VR rejected it. I remembered abeing a bit hurt by this at the time but the editor was encouraging enough to tell me that I got “potential”… but I  need to tone down the sensual bits (an advice I didn’t take, sorry). Still, it was a good  learning experience for me…how to handle rejection and all.  It made me more determined to continue writing. After that particular incident, I did some creative writing at the university and later on went to do technical writing gigs and  filler articles for some publications.Yes, yes…I was once a “ghost writer” .

I went on to read the first chapter and tried not to grimace.  I dunno ..but compared to what I write nowadays, it was too melodramatic…and written in mostly in an archaic Tagalog voice, too!

Iniabot kay Von ng abogado ang isang pakete. Naglalaman iyon ng kopya ng testamento ng nasira niyang inang si Mercedes Robredo Escaler. Nagulat siya nang makita ang isang microcassette na nakapaloob doon.

“Sinabihan ako ng iyong Mama na ibigay sa iyo ‘yan kung mawala na siya,” sabi ni Atty. Delgado, ang abogado ng kanilang pamilya.

Tumango si Von sa sinabi nito at pinindot ang “play” button ng microcassete. Pumailanlang ang boses ng kanyang ina mula dito.

“Von, if you have this…it only meant that I have died,” narinig niyang sabi ng ina bago natigilan ng ilang segundo. Dinig niya ang malalim na paghinga nito. “I am leaving everything to you, the company and the properties. Alam kong magiging mabuti kang pinuno. I have followed your achievements abroad and despite what you think, I am very, very proud of you.”

Again there was a pause before her mother continued.

“I know my time’s limited already. Hindi na ako magtatagal pa. I know I have a lot of faults as a mother. I did a lot of things that I later regretted. Anak, may nagawa akong napakalaking kasalanan sa iyo and I want to come clean this time. It’s about Julia.”

Natigilan si Von nang narinig ang pangalan ng estraged wife niya. The child bride he married six years ago. The wife who betrayed him with another man…

“I hated her. I thought she was not good enough for you. And I want to destroy her in your eyes. And I did, anak. Nagawa kong paghiwalayin kayo. Akala ko’y magiging masaya na ako sa aking nagawa. But my victory was hallow…dahil nawala ka rin sa akin.”

“Hindi totoong nagtaksil siya. Gawa-gawa ko lang ang lahat. Pinagsisisihan ko na ang nagawa ko. I deprived you of your wife and also in the process, I also deprived myself of my own grandchild. Yes, Von….she bore you a son.”

Very soapy indeed! Hahaha.

I’ve been with them for about two years.  Within that period I’ve been patient and civil with the rude customer service and tech support people. Suffered in silence, bit my tongue. Aside from the usual run-ins with their representatives, they also failed to inform me, a loyal customer,  that they will be upgrading their SQL servers. This resulted to lost posts/content stretching to about six months. When I brought this to their attention, they had the audacity to tell me that I should have backed up the contents of my site.  They may have a point there, but as a service provider, it is their responsibility to inform customers, even “small” ones like me of any changes that can affect our sites. They failed to do that.

There are also more downtimes than uptimes.

I had it.

Never mind that my contract with them will expire December 2011.  Signed up for a new host.

For the meantime, thank you WordPress.

www.katmadrid.net

After much consideration, I came into the conclusion that these are reasons enough that should compel me to respond not only in my own defense but also of the publishing house that placed its utmost trust in my work. So I am devoting this whole post to repudiate whatever speculations flying around and leave the judgment to you, dear readers.

Madam,

Thank you for your expert and highly insightful comment on my capacity as a writer.

Like you, I have the highest regard for Ms. Montelibano’s prose. Let me reassure you that should I decide to use her work as a framework for my own book, I’d do everything by the book, no pun intended – complete with references, endnotes and footnotes else I end up being slapped with a civil case, complete with a docket number by my own publisher.

Since you short of accused me of plagiarizing my colleague’s work, kindly point out which part of my work clearly misrepresented hers and so unwittingly owned as my own. Since you think of me already guilty of paraphrasing and imitating her syntax, style and structure, cite me samples. Concrete ones – i.e. passages wherein I substituted the description of her characters with a different set of synonyms and also made use of the same tone, pace, etc.

Are you a writer? You sounded like one. This I gather from the way your comment was worded – it can only come from someone belonging to the same set. But then again, I have been wrong before.

If I may ask, how does one so learned like you qualify and identify “deeper writing”? What school of literary criticism and thought should I look on to? How do I bring about my writing to a more “deeper” level? How would I know when my writing is “deep” enough? Is there a gauge? Parameters? Please enlighten me so that a writer like me can greatly benefit from your extensive know-how.

As early as the first week of December, I’m already thinking of the gargantuan task of cooking everything by myself – from appetizer to dessert. For five years in a row, they have “officially” delegated me this task (and that included not just logistics but the budget as well. lol). I think my relatives and Ma already accepted the fact that I don’t want them around the kitchen when I’m manning it so I guess…I brought this unto myself. Haha.

I also have to take into consideration special food requirements that some of my family members have -  i.e. my Pa is allergic to poultry/shellfish while cheese is positively lethal to my cuz R aka evil twin, so coming up with a menu to address their food needs can be quite a challenge already.

I’m ditching the roasted turkey. I’ve done it three years ago and let me tell you, it exhausted me tremendously. It took too much time to prepare and cook . The only comfort I derived from cooking the bird was that it did turned out perfectly roasted and juicy. The family devoured it in one sitting.

The menu I’m thinking for this year consisted of an appetizer or two (probably melba toast and crispy spinach), a cold salad (baby potatoes in mayo mustard dressing), a pasta dish (ravioli), chicken pastel, baked lapu-lapu, crown roast of pork or baked short ribs and for dessert it’s either mango crepe samurai or a three-layer chocolate mousse confection.

Too ambitious too pull? Ugh. I know. Good luck to me.

Okay, okay. I told her I’ll accompany her to see it at GB3. Since it was an adaptation, I want to read the much-touted “next HP phenom.” Even though I already heard not-so-good reviews from my good friend and former UP Kule resident book critic, L, I still went on and got an ebook to read before watching the film.

So I read it Monday until the wee hours of the following day.

It’s not really my cup of tea. L tried to tell me it’s like reading those saccharine teen novels that proliferated in our youth. Sweet dreams with fangs, said she. I thought I’ll experience epiphanies of kilig moments because Edward was a perceptive, sweet, endearing vampire who doesn’t want to hurt humans.

Maybe his lack of biting moments made him too sappy for my taste and the mushy moments are often a tad too long to be effective. L said had she been the editor of Meyer’s book, she’d delete all the soap and the mush. And I tend to agree with her regardless of the fact the two of us would probably be torched by Meyer’s adoring public. Lol.

I don’t think it’s a bad book. The author had moments of brilliance but it became too convoluted because of all the sentimentality.

Or I may have believed Anne Rice’s literary mythos more and that prevented me to indulge my mind in Meyer’s world which is pulp fiction category compared to the formidable Rice.

Or I simply have seen too much to confidently pronounce that my views on men are more realistic now compared to my views before. And that remark I apply to men in general – vampire and humans alike.

Edward was the crux of Meyer’s romanticism, a creature who can only subsist on that milieu. He’s the most perfect guy I ever read about but sadly, can only live within the pages of a book. Can you just imagine what twisted, bad-boy Lestat would do to him should he stumble into the world of the Vampire Chronicles? Lestat will tear his beautiful form into pieces!

I told this to my former teammate after we watched the film. She said my cynical nature was on the prowl kaya di ako kinikilig while watching. I retorted that it’s ten times harder to wear rose-colored spectacles as one goes through life. She didn’t reply and I didn’t push it. If watching the movie made her happy, I’d be happy for her.

L and I wenbt on and discussed the book over skype a few hours ago and she said that the book is “pure fantasy without backbone”. That’s a bit harsh, I told her. As I mentioned before, Meyer has her moments and overall the book is…well… good. But it’s not great. Nor is Meyer’s prose erotically spellbinding as that of Rice’s or as cutting and brutal as that of Lumley’s.

I told her that maybe we shouldn’t expect too much – Meyer’s demographics are geared towards teens and young adults. We are hardly that. But then again, we both read and collected Rowling’s HP series, didn’t we? What is wrong with us?! I exclaimed. Have we lost our sense of kilig and became jaded women?

I really don’t think so.

The problem with me these days is that very few vampire authors can make me believe, in a space of a few hours’ of reading time, that, yes, vampires really exist in a plane parallel to ours. Very few have that gift of weaving language into a believable, majestic tapestry.

Meyer’s writing is good writing but it’s not great writing.

But then again, great prose doesn’t come that often, like in the case of Tolkien’s Middle Earth. Now, THAT creation was one of the greatest literary works ever imagined and realized. I always read his books from the Silmarillion to the Return of the King every holiday season. But I’m digressing a bit.

Back to the vampires.

So who won hands down for me?

Edward maybe brooding and sensitive but I’d offer my neck to dark, twisted Lestat anytime.

I find it more difficult to write the second since I already know my weaknesses and is more conscious to not repeating them. Yes, writing the second book is quite daunting especially if you are aware of other people’s expectations. On top of this is the amount of pressure I put on myself to come up with something that is at par or will surpass the first effort. Maybe that’s the OC in me – I am my own worst critic.

I still have a lot of chapters to finish and I really don’t know if I could beat my self-imposed deadline. Aside from the additional research involved which needs sorting or else would simply be infodump… my main character’s quite complex, so I am in a dilemma whether I should clip his wings a little or let him develop a life of his own as the story progresses. I got stalled at the fifth chapter when I realized that I didn’t like the beginning for it may drag the story down to the drain. I need fresh eyes before making a go at it again. So I’m giving myself a few days of respite before I start the process of restructuring the flow of the story and redo my story outline.

For now, it’s back to blogging.

End rant.

]]> http://katmadrid.wordpress.com/2008/10/01/inspiration-where-art-thou/feed/ 1 katmadrid http://katmadrid.wordpress.com/2008/09/10/drool/ http://katmadrid.wordpress.com/2008/09/10/drool/#comments Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:46:33 +0000 katmadrid http://katmadrid.wordpress.com/?p=18 ]]> It was lust at first sight.

Aspire One. That I am. Aspiring for one, that is.

the object of my lust

It was small. Ultra portable. Cute. Wifi-ready. Integrated webcam. And the best part was – it’s dirt cheap. Imagine I can buy an entry-level model at 16k…loaded with Linux and OpenOffice, of course. Standard storage is at 8G – puny for graphics-hungry individuals but perfect for a writer who only need word processing, email and surfing capabilities out of a machine.

Problem is, I can be a slave-driver when it comes to PCs. I am fond of using memory-intensive programs and applications…so I’m not sure if the Aspire One, which was built to perform moderately as compared to its bigger brothers; can work for me in the long run. On the other hand, its size can make writing a whole lot easier and enjoyable than carrying a full-sized laptop.

Just when I finally saved enough to buy that laptop I was eyeing for months, I was thrown into hoops again.

A Libra who couldn’t make up her mind. Laptop or netbook? Netbook or laptop.

Argh.

Update 9/20: The Kat made up her mind *finally*.  Bought this netbook for P16k+ freebees : 4Gig SD Card and 2Gig USB stick. And now…on with the writing…